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Archive for August, 2015

Day 11: The Inward Journey: Forgiveness Heals.

Day 11: The Inward Journey: Forgiveness Heals..

Day 11: The Inward Journey: Forgiveness Heals.

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Forgiveness is defined as, ‘the process by which a person pardons and ceases to resent the trespasses or wrongful actions of another’ and I, like my mother before me, believe that forgiveness it necessary for inner healing to takes place. All of us need to recuperate from hurt to some degree or another. For some of you reading this post it may only be a minor thing; for others, a deep wound.

Haven’t we all said ‘Oh I wish I hadn’t said or ‘I wish I hadn’t done that’ and we feel embarrassed or ashamed when we think about the situation. We all have had times when we felt we were not understood. Perhaps a friend betrayed us or let us down. Possibly in our childhood a parent, sibling or teacher ridiculed or criticised us unduly. Or perhaps there was rejection and abuse. All of these incidents- whether large or small are ‘psychic sores’ which fester away in our bodies and minds. At times the hurt is so deep that it is denied or cannot be articulated. Painful memories submerged in our subconscious mind are immersed deep within. And, the process of keeping them buried has a damaging effect on physical and psychological wellbeing.

Imagine what it would be like if there was a magical eraser available to you; one that could walk back into your past and wipe away all pain and undo every wrong. Would you want this? Would you need it? Would you be willing to do whatever it takes? Would you agree with me when I say that suffering teaches us about life, but there comes a time to let it go and move on: A time to accept and forgive: A time to forgive and forget rather than remember and be sad.

You may be tempted to avoid talking about forgiveness, because the thought of ‘opening up old wounds’ can cause extreme trepidation. Yet, unresolved, unexpressed painful memories and negative feelings do not vanish into the night with our dreams: To the contrary, they become trapped in our   bodies causing us to become exhausted, sick and vulnerable. An important part of your recovery to health and energy will require you to forgive those who inflicted you with pain and to forgive yourself for your negative beliefs and subsequent actions which evolved from this dark place.

In the next  post -on Tuesday evening ( the will be no Monday morning Wake up call next week, sorry);  we will consider how certain body exercises will help the  emotions trapped in the body to be released in a non threatening way.

Note to self

MOMM

 I believe practicing forgiveness  is the most significant part of our work in this life.

I am not alone in this belief. It is even  the foundation of the Lord’s Prayer. ‘Forgive us our debts, as we forgive those who are in debt to us’ (Mathew6:9)

I love to listen to Tracey Chapman as she intones to the lyrics of her haunting  song ‘Sorry’. This song captures how difficult it can be is to practice forgiveness.

We need to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves and others.

We need to allow ourselves loads and loads of time to relax, mediate and practice mindfulness.

That is why I have included  a mindfulness exercise here at the end of this post.

Fixate mind into the present moment by focusing on your body

    • Start by slowing down your breathing one breath at a time.
    •  Then ‘tune into’ the listening: allow yourself to hear all sounds and then listen to stillness beyond all sound, all doing and all activity.
    • Next, draw your attention inward and listen to the beating of your heart and imagine it slowing down.

Thoughts to ponder on….

 ‘You cannot heal a wound by saying it is not there.’(Jeremiah 6:14))

I do like Mondays, when I click into the Good Vibrations

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Clicking into Good Vibrations is easy when you know how. The secret  of course is to shut down the overactive  mind and connect with the body.

You don’t even have to get out of bed to do this exercise, you can just lie there under the covers with  your feet on the floor.

  • Imagine that there are roots growing from your feet extending down into the deep rich brown earth, grounding and connecting you to all living things below.
  • Then, picture a beautiful golden rainbow shining on your head and flowing down through your body like river of energy and light, connecting and energizing you from the heavens above.
  • Breathe in this this ray of light, slowly,  allow it to permeate into every cell and tissue in your body.
  • Feel this energy as it heals, revitalizes and baths  clean,every negative thought and action.
  • All fear is becomes invisible.as you breath in the Good Vibrations
  • Slowly stretch and reach for the sky and greet the day and smile
  • A new day has begun, it is yours for the taking.
  • Yesterday is gone, and tomorrow may never come so enjoy this day.
  • Have a good one you guys.
  • See you on Wednesday – Hurrah!!

Day 11: The Inward Journey: How Emotional Turmoil can help us to discover The Real Me

008Grief, betrayal, disappointments and despair are all emotions that all of us in our right minds would choose to avoid. And yet when we experience these major life issues we know that something big is happening to us: our soul on a journey towards truth. This path towards self-discovery will either destroy us or teach us what it means to be truly human, with a profound understanding of humility, compassion, love, understanding and gentleness.

If you do not feel comfortable with this part of your healing journey, take some time out to relax and meditate and when you are ready softly inquire where this hesitancy came from.

Perhaps as a child growing up it was necessary for you to control your feelings, and now your mind is telling you that it is better to be rational. But is it? What happens to the feelings you don’t express? Many therapists argue that they do not just disappear. They continue to exist under the surface and affect the way you behave and relate to other people.

I was given a book by a very special and dear friend of mine several years ago called ‘Feelings Buried Alive Never Die’  It was written by  Karol K. Truman. The edition I have was published Olympus Distributing in 2007, ( ISBN 0- 911207-02-3). It is an amazing book. A must have for anyone who seriously wants to get well.

I do not know about you. but there are times when I can feel frightened by the strength of my feelings, especially when I lose my temper. When I am in a rage, a  primordial cry is  released from the pit of my belly. That is when I give voice to my anger. Unfortunately, I am what  therapists call ‘a stomacher’, in other wards I literally swallow and stomach my feelings and then I wonder why I can get migraine!

Now that I am older and wiser, I understand. I bury my feelings because I see it as totally inappropriate to lose it.

If I am really honest with myself, ‘my ego’ wants to see me as ‘a good girl’ the therapist who has all the answers.I don’t of course.

I now know that when I operate out of my head and in accordance with textbook theories of how I ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t ‘ think and behave, I have to work  damn hard.It just doesn’t flow.

So here is the thing, how can I  support you? How can I help you to examine what you have buried over time through the medium of the written word? I have discovered some wonderful way to release feelings over the years. I love to work with Reflexology in silence and from a space of ‘Grace’. I also use and encourage my clients to use, certain rituals of forgiveness and grief. When doing these rituals it is advisable to seek the assistance of a trusted friend or counselor.

Working on- line can raise awareness but nothing is comparable to the compassionate listening ear of a good qualified therapist, or that special non-judgmental colleague or friend.

NB Word of warning.

Whoever you choose to work with to help you examine your feelings, make sure that person can be trusted NOT to talk!!! As unfortunately break of confidentiality can even put you in a more vulnerable situation. That is why Catholic priests are fantastic, the seal of confession even holds up in court. Imagine that!

So my advice to you is take your time.

Try different self-help support groups.

Seek out different therapists, check their credentials, check out testimonials, until you find that person who suits you best. Personally I think it is good to seek out the assistance of trained qualified strangers as they do not know you and will not have preconceived ideas about who you are and here is a certain freedom in this as well.

In the meantime  don’t forget to allow yourself plenty of time to practice stillness outlined in previous blogs.

As the cliche goes….

Go on you are worth it’

On this August Monday, your Irish Mammy says….. Take your Time and meet a Friend Today.

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As my Irish Mother used to say.

Friends are like flowers if you do not water them, they will die.

And now I am off with ‘me watering can’ next Wednesday to meet and old college friend face to face.

My next post will be on Thursday instead of Wednesday this week.

I hope that is OK with you?

I need to spend time in stillness.

I need to  share  my ideas face to face with significant others , so that I can give the  next few posts   my best shot!

Being kind of a ‘happy chappy’ type of person it is not always easy for me to talk and subsequently write about, growing through  emotional turmoil.

These topics are the stuff of the midweek posts, its not for a Monday.

Monday is rise and shine time.

Have a good one you guys.

This post is written with tons of best wishes, blessings and love,

from me,

mt

How often have you found that it is difficult to express exactly how you feel? Day 9: The Inward Journey:

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Even my beloved intuitive healing Irish mother was not known to expound on this topic.  ‘Feelings’ she would say ‘are made up from a specific type of energy which is beyond the comprehension of the greatest of minds’. To be honest with you I wasn’t exactly sure what she meant but I sense that she was suggesting that maybe we will never truly understand our emotions because so often they reside deep within our subconscious mind.

In the chart below you will see a list of pleasant and unpleasant words.  Gently take some time out to examine this list and tick  any words that are omitted  from your vocabulary.

Pleasant feeling words

·         Absorbed

·         Affection

·         Amazed

·         Astonished

·         Appreciation

·         Alerted

  • Breathless
  • Calm
  • Carefree
  • Comfortable
  • Contented
  • Curious
  • Confident
  • Delighted
  • Eager
  • Elated
  • Exuberant
  • Encouraged
  • Enthusiastic
  • Excited
  • Fascinated
  • Friendly
  • Happy
  • Hopeful
  • Helpful
  • Interested
  • Inquisitive
  • Joyful
  • Loving
  • Light-hearted.
  • Loud
  • Lecherous
  • Optimism
  • Overwhelmed
  • Overjoyed
  • Pleasant
  • Peaceful
  • Quiet
  • Relieved
  • Satisfied
  • Sensitive
  • Stimulated
  • Surprised
  • Tender
  • Thankful
  • Touched
  • Zippy

 

Unpleasant feeling words

Apathy

Afraid

Angry

Apathy

Anxious

Bitter

Bored

Bad

Broken-hearted

Blue

Cranky

Cross.

Confused

Cold

Disappointed

Depressed

Disgusted

Distant

Dismayed

Distressed

Disturbed

Exhausted

Fearful

Frightened

Frustrated

Furious

Gloomy

Guilty

Grieving

Hate

Helpless

Hopeless

Horrified

Hostile

Hurt

Impatient

Insecure

Irritated

Jealous

Lethargic

Lazy

Lonely

Miserable

Mean

Puzzled

Resentful

Sad

Sorry

Terrified

Tired

Troubled

Uncomfortable

Unhappy

Uneasy

Upset

Weary

Worried

Slowly, read through this list again and ask yourself if these words are

  • Active or passive?
  • Static or mobile?
  • Experienced in the mind or the heart?
  • Stagnant or transformative?

When you look at this list you will notice that it consists of feeling or emotional words. Emotional words are very powerful.

Even by definition emotion means power, for example, when you remove the letter e from the word emotion you are left with the word motion which, according to Encarta Dictionary, means power of movement.

When we express ourselves with ‘E – motional’ words that come from the heart we are releasing the power of energy in motion into our lives. This energy provides motivation for healing.

Generally, most of us experience emotional tension between whom we are and who we want to be. The more divided our self is, the greater the torment. Conversely strife is good, because it forces us to look at certain aspects of our personalities we would otherwise choose to ignore.

Often, it takes a crisis in our lives for us to examine how we feel as the following story will illustrate.

His name was Augustine. He was born in 356 A.D into a wealthy Roman family in North African in province of Numidia (now known Tunisia). His father was Pagan and his mother a Christian. He was a wild young man who pursued all life experiences with wanton abandon, but despite his best efforts to reach the extreme in all things his behaviour failed to satisfy, and left him feeling unfilled and empty. His hedonistic lifestyle ended suddenly with the death of a good friend. Augustine fell into the depths of despair, which was overwhelming and all consuming. Gradually he turned his attention towards the gentle teachings of Jesus who urged all seekers of truth to;

Ask and you will receive; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks will receive, and anyone who seeks will find, and the door will be opened to those who knock. Would any of you who are fathers give your son a stone when he asks for bread? Or would you give him a snake when he asks for fish? Bad as you are, you know how to give good things to your children. How much more, then, will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him! (Matthew 7. 7-11)

Note to self

MOMM

I wonder if St Augustine had unraveled a spiritual secret that is the foundation for all religions that  faith in a Divine presence can open the way  to finding the Real Me?

More of this next Wednesday my dearest friends.

In the meantime.

Be well.

Be happy.

And don’t forget to breathe, slowly, deliberately  and with  concentration .

Hugs and love,

Mt

If you cannot afford the Taylors of Harrogate’s High Voltage Ejector Bed, why not try the Irish Mammies Monday Morning Wake-up call?

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It is Easy. All that is required is 5 more minutes under the warm covers and a few stretching exercises.

If you do this I promise you will feel differently about the day ahead.

So let us begin the stretching exercise now;

  • Imagine that you are a Big Lazy Cats wriggling and stretching in the bed without any effort whatsoever
  • Stretch your arms upwards towards the sky as far as you can, hold it there for a few moments and relax
  • Link your fingers together, turn them round, and stretch
  • Turn your arms around upwards and outwards with your fingers interlocked together and stretch, hold and relax
  • Allow,your arms to hang loosely by your side as you  stretch your legs out straight, really feel the pull as you stretch as far as you can go, hold and relax
  • Next, stretch your legs outwards as far as the bed will allow, hold and relax
  • Lie on your back with your head on the pillow and your face looking up towards the sky and smile, bring your lips right back until all your teeth are exposed in a big broad smile, hold and relax
  • Extend your tongue out as far as you possibly can, stretching reaching to the bottom of your chin, hold and relax
  • You are almost done, it’s time to get up but before you do, imagine a beautiful light shining  on the crown of your head flowing  through your spine, lighting up every cell in your body from your head to your toes and back up again, energizing  you, preparing you for the day ahead.
  • You are alive.
  • Give thanks for this day.
  • Allow your feet to slide out onto the floor, spread your toes wide and feel the roots growing out from your feet anchoring you to the rich brown earth.
  • Hold yourself  still few moments and connect with the life force that is sustaining you and give thanks
  • Allow yourself to unite in gratitude with all creation, as you go about to meet the day.

Note to self

Have a great Monday you guys.

If I am to late with this post and you are already up out and at it, or you have invested in the High Voltage Ejector bed, try the exercise tomorrow and the day after that as well.

Its a great way to meet the day no matter what challenges are waiting for you in life.

It all about the start really.

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