Forgiveness is defined as, ‘the process by which a person pardons and ceases to resent the trespasses or wrongful actions of another’ and I, like my mother before me, believe that forgiveness it necessary for inner healing to takes place. All of us need to recuperate from hurt to some degree or another. For some of you reading this post it may only be a minor thing; for others, a deep wound.
Haven’t we all said ‘Oh I wish I hadn’t said or ‘I wish I hadn’t done that’ and we feel embarrassed or ashamed when we think about the situation. We all have had times when we felt we were not understood. Perhaps a friend betrayed us or let us down. Possibly in our childhood a parent, sibling or teacher ridiculed or criticised us unduly. Or perhaps there was rejection and abuse. All of these incidents- whether large or small are ‘psychic sores’ which fester away in our bodies and minds. At times the hurt is so deep that it is denied or cannot be articulated. Painful memories submerged in our subconscious mind are immersed deep within. And, the process of keeping them buried has a damaging effect on physical and psychological wellbeing.
Imagine what it would be like if there was a magical eraser available to you; one that could walk back into your past and wipe away all pain and undo every wrong. Would you want this? Would you need it? Would you be willing to do whatever it takes? Would you agree with me when I say that suffering teaches us about life, but there comes a time to let it go and move on: A time to accept and forgive: A time to forgive and forget rather than remember and be sad.
You may be tempted to avoid talking about forgiveness, because the thought of ‘opening up old wounds’ can cause extreme trepidation. Yet, unresolved, unexpressed painful memories and negative feelings do not vanish into the night with our dreams: To the contrary, they become trapped in our bodies causing us to become exhausted, sick and vulnerable. An important part of your recovery to health and energy will require you to forgive those who inflicted you with pain and to forgive yourself for your negative beliefs and subsequent actions which evolved from this dark place.
In the next post -on Tuesday evening ( the will be no Monday morning Wake up call next week, sorry); we will consider how certain body exercises will help the emotions trapped in the body to be released in a non threatening way.
Note to self
I believe practicing forgiveness is the most significant part of our work in this life.
I am not alone in this belief. It is even the foundation of the Lord’s Prayer. ‘Forgive us our debts, as we forgive those who are in debt to us’ (Mathew6:9)
I love to listen to Tracey Chapman as she intones to the lyrics of her haunting song ‘Sorry’. This song captures how difficult it can be is to practice forgiveness.
We need to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves and others.
We need to allow ourselves loads and loads of time to relax, mediate and practice mindfulness.
That is why I have included a mindfulness exercise here at the end of this post.
Fixate mind into the present moment by focusing on your body
- Start by slowing down your breathing one breath at a time.
- Then ‘tune into’ the listening: allow yourself to hear all sounds and then listen to stillness beyond all sound, all doing and all activity.
- Next, draw your attention inward and listen to the beating of your heart and imagine it slowing down.
Thoughts to ponder on….
‘You cannot heal a wound by saying it is not there.’(Jeremiah 6:14))